I Choose You
by lovemeforeverandever
Summary: Bonnie Bennett is in the hospital, and it doesn't look like she's going to make it. Everyone's said their goodbyes. All except Damon. Four Part: One-Shot. Rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Two part one shot! I'm afraid everyone is really out of character, but oh well.**

 **And I couldn't figure out what type of diagnosis I wanted to give Bonnie, so make up whatever one you think fitted best.**

 **xoxo**

* * *

 **Part One-**

Caroline Forbes never understood what she has done so badly in her life to deserve this. She has been through grief, too many times to count, they all have.

When Elena's parents had died grief was foreign to her. She was barely seventeen, she had never really lost anyone before, and she had to watch her best friend live without both her parents. Forever.

She was close with Miranda and Grayson Gilbert. They were practically her second parents. Her and Bonnie were over at Elena's house everyday after school gossiping about boys and going over cheer routines. It was different then. It was easier, too.

Her dad dying was something she didn't expect, the feelings she had felt. She wasn't too close with him, especially after what he had put her through, but he was still her father. She loved him so much, no matter what. At that point in time, she understood the concept of grief. She knew how it worked and how she felt. She was prepared for how emotional she felt and how hard she took it, but she expected it that time.

Bonnie died twice. Both times Caroline couldn't understand how she was going to survive without her best friend...but she had a drive. She had motivation to get her back. It was the only thing that was keeping her grief to a bare minimum.

When her mom died...Caroline hadn't wanted to feel at all. She didn't like feeling of loneliness, the urge to cry anytime she thought about her, and the pain in her chest that wouldn't go away. The very thought of knowing she has to live without her mom a lot sooner than she had thought...it's what caused her to turn her humanity off.

Seven years ago Elena had went into her coma. She grieved for her best friend, but her only hope was that she would stay alive enough to see her again...but then Bonnie would die...so it all was so bitter-sweet to Caroline that she never wanted to think about Elena.

Now here she sat, in a small uncomfortable chair in a hospital room, watching Bonnie Bennett sleep. The slow but steady heart beat monitor continued to beep mockingly as if in Caroline's face and it took everything thing in her not to break it.

Bonnie's dying. She's only twenty-seven. This wasn't supposed to happen, not yet! She never got the chance to have the life she wanted. She never got married or had children. She doesn't get to grow old and live her life to the fullest.

 _It isn't her time_. Caroline knows it isn't, but Bonnie is so stubborn.

For the past few weeks everyone has been coming by. Jeremy visited for a couple days but had to go back to his new home in Washington, with his fiancé. Bonnie wished him well and he told her that he was more thankful for having to have had her in his life.

Tyler was M.I.A. None of them have heard anything from him in the past couple of years besides a postcard every few months from random places just letting everyone know that he is alive and well.

Alaric and Stefan are currently in the hospital cafeteria drinking coffee and eating crappy hospital food. The two of them have kept their emotions to themselves for the most part. Especially Ric, the poor guy shouldn't have to keep going through so much grief.

He visits the hospital, even though it brings back painful memories and emotions he doesn't want to feel anymore because he feels Bonnie deserves it. He's doing it for Bonnie. She has been there for him the past seven years and he wouldn't know what he would do without her.

Stefan has never felt more stressed out with Damon in his life.

When Stefan had first heard what happened to Bonnie, he lashed out at Damon when noticing he was in a good mood one evening at the Boarding house. He still cringes when he thinks of the conversation.

Stefan was in the kitchen, glaring down at the sink. He let the faucet water run because he just needed some extra noise. The silence was too eerie for him.

Damon walks into the kitchen whistling to himself. He smirks Stefan's way, oblivious to his current state, "Good afternoon, brother." He spoke cheerfully.

Stefan turns the faucet off, glaring now at Damon. "What's wrong with you?"

Damon shrugged, "Nothing. What? I can't just be in a good mood? It does happen on a rare occasion."

"You sick son of a bitch." Stefan snapped.

Damon turned around, looking at Stefan eyes wide, "What?" He asked confused.

Stefan ignored him. "I should've known. I bet you're so ecstatic. Probably on cloud nine, right? Why would I think you'd at least feel a least bit remorseful? I mean you did save her and all, I figured you'd at least feel something when the time came."

Damon was growing impatient and irritation,, "What the hell are you talking about, Stefan?"

Stefan scoffed, "Don't play coy, Damon. I know you're just happy that you're going to see Elena again. You don't even care that Bonnie's dying-"

Damon's face got red and he was full of anger, "What the fuck are you talking about?" He shouted.

Stefan's face faltered and he realized his mistake too late. "Oh, no..." He mumbled under his breath and shook his head.

He figured Damon already knew. Him and Bonnie are so close...he would've been one of the first to know, wouldn't he?

The older vampire's voice was low, too quiet that Stefan almost hadn't heard him. "What's going on?"

Stefan stuttered, "Bonnie's-um-she-"

"Fuck." Said Damon. He rushed out of the kitchen in a blur.

Stefan heard a crash that sounded like glass hitting a wall and then the loud slam of the heavy front door.

That was three and a half months ago. Or was it four? None of them really knew anymore. They lost track of the days.

Stefan noticed something strange in Damon lately. In the beginning, he was moody and angry all the time. Now, since they heard Bonne wasn't getting any better, he seemed almost normal again. At first Stefan thought it was about Elena, until he had saw the way Damon interacted with Bonnie. He had to leave the room because it broke his heart.

Every morning Damon walks into Bonnie's expensive large hospital room, thanks to his Salvatore donation, and says, "So, when are they letting you out of this joint, Bon-Bon?"

Her face would soften instantly, "You know they aren't, Damon." She would say.

His reply, "Don't be so dramatic." He would roll his eyes then sit beside her on the hospital bed and talk about anything and everything. Except the hospital and the reason why Bonnie is there. That is never mentioned, at all.

It's like he's in some state of denial. He's the only one who hasn't said his goodbyes yet.

Bonnie tries to talk seriously with him, but he would redirect the question or ignore her altogether.

* * *

Caroline left the room and found Stefan in a nearby elevator.

"Hey," she said softly, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. Tears fell down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him. "I can't lose her, Stefan…."

He held her tight, kissing the top of her head. "Everything's going to be okay, Caroline. I love you…"

She started sobbing again and she leaned her face against his neck and they continued to hold each other in the middle of the hospital hallway.

* * *

Bonnie had just woken up when Damon walked inside. He's been there every single day. Even when he's not in the room visiting her, he somewhere in the hospital doing something for her. He only goes back to the boarding house now for clean clothes and to shower. He spends his nights in the hospital, watching Bonnie sleep.

She had just finished talking to the doctor, luckily Damon had just missed him. Since Damon's denial, anytime the doctor says anything about Bonnie not getting better he instantly starts to try and attack the poor doctor. They end up compelling the doctor to forget everything.

He took a seat in the chair Caroline was sitting before, he looked up at the flat screen t.v. and smirked, "Ooh, watching one of your girly C.W. shows?"

Bonnie grabbed the remote and paused the television without a word. It took everything in her to sit up all by herself. Damon glared at her and reached over to help her.

"Careful, Bon-Bon."

And just like that, since the first time she had heard her diagnosis, Bonnie felt the tears rush into her eyes and she sniffed, instantly feeling her walls weaken.

Damon suddenly grew serious, "Bonnie, what's wrong?"

She shook her head, and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Can-can we talk?"

Now Damon was frowning. "Why don't we just watch some television. You're obviously upset-"

Now Bonnie was getting really upset, "Damon, cut it out, _now_. We're going to fucking talk about this and you're going to shut up and listen to everything I have to say, okay? Because I'm not dying before I say goodbye to my best friend."

His fist clenched and his jaw clenched but he didn't say a word.

Bonnie scoffed to herself, "See, I knew you weren't that dumb. You know what's going on. You're just trying to-"

"Shut up, Bonnie." he spoke venomously. "You're the one who wanted to wait two months before telling me you're fucking sick." he spat.

She didn't comment on that. She knew he still wasn't over her hiding it for so long so she just shook her head. "I'm sorry, okay? I was in denial for a while… I thought if no one else knew then it wasn't real."

He shook his head slowly. He wasn't looking at her, he was looking at her bed sheets. "I could save you...but you won't god damn let me-"

"BECAUSE IT'S MY TIME, DAMON!" she shouted but then had to calm herself down when she got out of breath quickly. After a minute she was able to speak, but more quietly and slowly, "This isn't me dying from my magic, or something else, this is a real life human thing that i'm dying from. I've cheated death how many times? There's only so many before life just catches up to you, I guess."

He was quiet. So she continued. "I've had one of the most craziest lives I think anyone on this Earth can have the pleasure of actually saying and meaning." she smiled with tears in her eyes. "I've met the _best_ of friends." she leaned over and grabbed his hand and held it in hers. She squeezed it tightly. "Being a witch is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm thankful I got to share that experience for a short while with my Grams. I'm glad I was able to get to see my mom again and we were able to reconnect. I'm thankful that my father and I were able to get close again, too. I'm glad I got to experience my first everything with Jeremy." Damon was now scowling, his hand tightened in hers but she continued to smile, "It taught me, that it wasn't real love what he and I had...but it was a good first experience, you know?"

Damon still didn't say anything. She went on again, "I'm so happy, that I'm going to be able to give you the best gift in the world." Now a sob broke out and the tears shedded down her cheeks. Damon's face turned to stare down at her, his expression turning into one of worry.

"The doctor says I'll probably go in the middle of the night...which means sometime tomorrow you'll get Elena back," she sniffed, "And I just want you to know that I wish you both the best. I want you to be happy, Damon. I can't wait to go to the great beyond, see Grams again, and watch down on you and watch you make the life you've always wanted for yourself and Elena" Another painful sob rushed through her. She told herself to calm down. That everything will be okay. That the pain will be over soon. _You'll be free_.

"But, I can't go, without getting this off my goddamn chest, because then I'll never be _free._ " She looked up at him, her hazel eyes meeting his gorgeous blue ones, "You know the reason why all those guys I tried dating, that you hated _so_ much, never worked out?"

Damon grumbled, "Because they were losers?"

Bonnie laughed, "No, they weren't losers. Some of them would have made an amazing husband and father to my children." She shook her head with a smile, "But none of them were _you_ , Damon."

His eyebrows furrowed close together.

"I've loved you for I don't even know how long…" she shook her head again, "I never planned on telling you, because I know how much you love Elena, but I couldn't live with this weight on my chest any longer." Another sob. "Please, don't lie to me. Don't say you love me back or anything just because I'm dying. I can't take that lie from you. All I ever wanted the past seven years was for you to be happy. That has been my goal...I would never hate you knowing you don't love me the same way back. I've always known that, and I knew it would never change."

She sniffed a few times, wiping the tears on her cheeks.

Shocked was an understatement of how Damon felt. Mostly he felt mad.

"You think all I give a fuck about right now is Elena?' she opened her mouth to reply but he continued, "I could care less about Elena right now. All I've been thinking about the past four months is whether or not you're going to live or die! Elena hasn't been a single thought in my mind- hell she hasn't been a single thought in my mind for a long time."

Now he was furious, "And you know what? Fuck you, Bonnie! Fuck you for telling me that you love me on your goddamn death bed! You know how long I've been waiting for you to utter those words? Years. And now! Now you're telling me you love me when there's no future together?"

Now she was mad too. "There was never a future, Damon! Even if you did love me back, there was always going to be Elena. I wasn't going to just be your second choice until I was old and died. I wasn't going to have you love me but at the same time love another woman in the back of your mind! I deserved more than that, Damon! That's why I never planned on telling you. I've been waiting, waiting for a guy who was as close to you as they could get to swoop me off my feet. I knew I would never not love you. And I knew I would have been doing to the other guy what you would have done to me, but I didn't care. Moving on was the only thing I had to live for, but now that I realize I probably would never be as happy with some other guy, I don't know if I want to live at all anymore."

Damon's nostrils flared. He's breathing was off and he felt like he wanted to kill something.

"I'm going out for fresh air. Don't fucking die 'til I come back." he spoke half-heartedly before opening the hospital room door and slamming it shut.

Now Bonnie laid in her own misery. Regretting everything she had said. Sobbing into her small fragile hands.

 **TO BE CONTINUED.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N-**

 **My idiot self realized I forgot to incorporate Matt into the first part. It's because I had re-wrote that part at least three times. So by the time the final draft came about, I kept thinking the whole time "I feel like I'm missing something..." Well what do you know, it was Matty-Blue-Eyes. I literally face palmed myself. In the first two rough drafts he was in it, but of course in the last one I forget to write it in. Go figure.**

 **Anyways, enjoy...or cry, whatever you please.**

 **IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE AT BOTTOM DON'T SKIP.**

* * *

 **Part Two-**

Damon knew he was an aggressive man way before he had even became a vampire. Whenever he had gotten into fights with his father, or even Stefan on a rare occasion, he would storm off to his bedroom and knock down anything in sight.

Now is no different. There he stood in his bedroom with all his dressers crashed onto the ground, bed broken into pieces. Clothes are everywhere along the floor and shards of glass can be found in corners by the walls where he had thrown glasses against them.

He went out and killed people, he hasn't done that for a long time. He wanted to make other people feel the way he felt, dead inside. He wanted another person to feel how Bonnie will end up feeling when this is all over, nothing, because she'd be dead.

The thought of her dying made him so mad, so frustrated, and so hateful to everyone and anything in the world that Damon felt so unlike himself.

He remembers the night he had approached her when he found out that she was sick. How sick he feels to his stomach every time he reflects that memory.

She had just moved into her new apartment in the nice neighborhood in Mystic Falls. There were still boxes around her apartment filled with things she needed to unpack but most of the main furniture was already there. She was sitting on her new white couch, going through a box that looked to be filled with glass plates, cups, etc.

Damon stormed into the apartment, Bonnie had accidentally left the door unlocked. He slams the door shut behind him, causing the witch to flinch. She turns around finding a furious looking Damon glaring at her.

She slowly turned back around and continued cleaning off the dust of the dishes and mumbled, "Well, hello to you too, Damon."

"What the fuck is going on, Bonnie?" He spat as he took a couple steps forward towards the sofa.

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Isn't it obvious? I'm cleaning the dust off the dishes that have been in this old box for who knows how long." She scoffed shaking her head slightly. They were dishes she packed from her Grams' house before she sold it.

Now Damon was right behind the couch, "I'm not talking about the fucking dishes." His voice was low and it made Bonnie stop mid swipe on a wine glass. "I'm talking about Stefan freaking out on me, telling me you're dying. He's lying, right? The stupid idiot must have gotten it wrong. You're not dying, you're twenty-seven-"

Bonnie gulped, she didn't bother to move her eyes anywhere away from the glass in her hands, "Things happen, Damon. I'm still a human and-"

"STOP! STOP FUCKING LYING, BONNIE!"

"God, Damon, I wish I was lying to you." She sighed and he huffed behind her, shaking his head in disbelief even though she couldn't see him.

She sniffed, and kept herself together. She moved her head to the right slightly and spoke so softly, "It'll all be okay, Damon. I'm gonna fight this. You know me. I'm Bonnie Bennett. There's nothing I can't survive." She cracked a smile, but even Damon knew it was a broken one. He knew she was scared shitless.

"Can my blood-"

She cut him off, "No, Damon." She shook her head, "Caroline already offered. I don't want to do this that way. It's not fair to all the people who can't use vampire blood for this because they don't know some supernatural blood can cure them. It's not right. What would make me so special?"

"Being Bonnie Bennett's pretty fucking special if you ask me." Snapped Damon.

She smiled a little bigger this time.

"Why the hell did Stefan know before me? Or even Caroline? How long have you known? Why couldn't you tell me-"

"Because you were the hardest person for me to say it to." She spoke so sadly.

His face morphed into a scowl, "Don't give me that bullshit."

She finally turned around and faced him, and exclaimed, "It's true! All I kept thinking about this last two months was, 'how am I supposed to tell Damon?' And all I kept picturing in my mind was your reaction and it was exactly like how you're acting right now."

Damon listened intently to explanation. His eyes narrowed, "You've known for two months?" He asked in a deadly quiet voice. His arms are crossed over his chest and Bonnie became silent. She was at a loss for words.

He shook his head slowly. Disappointment shown in his eyes and Bonnie felt so sick of herself. Why hadn't she told him before? None of this would be happening right now if she did.

"Please, Damon." She begged. She never begs. "Let me explain-"

Her hand reached over the couch and grabbed his leather arm. He pulled away from her touch instantly as if she burned him. Her breath hitched in her throat. She felt like she was already dead at that moment.

"Screw you, Bonnie." He spat as he headed towards the door.

She pulled herself off the couch and tried following him, "Damon, wait-" but he was already out the door. He didn't want to hear another lie from her.

Caroline went and visited Bonnie that night. She walks into the apartment with bags of groceries in her hands. "Hey, Bon. I went to the store and I couldn't help myself." She laughed. "I got you some things that are very healthy and totally okay for you to eat. I figured since-well- with everything you might want to have a full refrigerator and the empty one you have now is a big no no." Caroline placed the groceries on the small kitchen counter and realized she hadn't heard a reply from Bonnie. She walked towards the living area of the apartment and all of a sudden a horrified gasp escapes her.

A half hour after that Damon gets a phone call from Stefan saying Bonnie's in the hospital. She had passed out and hour after he left. All due to stress, something the doctor told her to specifically stay away from.

Damon was so horrified, so guilt-ridden, he destroyed the entire living room of the boarding house, much to Stefan's dismay. He then went to the hospital and never left Bonnie's side. He first apologized and practically begged her for forgiveness.

She forgave him easily. Told him he had a right to be upset. She explained that she wanted to hold no grudges. She wanted no drama with him.

He held her that night. Whispering sweet encouraging words to her. Telling her she will have an amazing future. Telling her all his hopes and wishes for her. She held onto him so tight, Damon was glad he was a vampire and didn't really need oxygen to breathe.

Now, was she not going to have a future? Was she doomed to die at the age of twenty-seven? All Damon knew for sure, was that she was not going to be going through her last few hours alone.

* * *

Caroline, Stefan, Alaric, and Matt sat downstairs in the boarding house. All of them remaining silent as they listened to Damon upstairs crash everything in his line of sight.

Matt shook his head, then dropped it into his hands and groaned. "You know, for a while there, I thought Damon was the most sane of all of us with this whole thing going on."

Stefan disagreed, "I knew he wasn't. He was in denial for a while there, he just thought she'd get better or she'll change her mind and ask him to drink his blood. I don't think he thought she'll actually die."

Alaric continued to sip his bourbon, his eyes glued to the fireplace. Hearing someone he considered one of his best friends for the longest time go through something he is too familiar with, was killing him inside. Just hearing Damon slowly go insane up there, was making all of them tense.

As Caroline spoke, her face stayed expressionless, "I used to think Damon never really cared for Bonnie. I thought he was using her for the longest time. Then when this happened I thought all he would care about was getting Elena back." She rolled her eyes. "But watching him in that hospital room, when she was sleeping, and he would just stare at her, and not even say a word. He just stared, as if he was just trying to remember it. Remember her."

Her eyes watered and a sob formed in the back of her throat. "And-and then he would take her hand and kiss it. But the way he held it, like she was _so fragile_ , and she is- she is fragile...when did Bonnie become fragile? She was always so strong. She isn't supposed to be fragile...She's supposed to be superwoman." Her head shook and her eyes shut tightly together as she let out a strangled sob and leaned against Stefan's shoulder, "She's the reason we're all alive today. She's supposed to live. It's not f-fair. It's just not. We-we _failed_ her."

Stefan wrapped his arm around Caroline tightly and held her close. His heart broke in half. For his friend who was laying on her deathbed, his girlfriend he loves very much who's losing her best friend, and his brother who is coming to terms with losing the _love of his life._

Matt started to cry, his face getting red and tears streaking down the sides of his cheeks. Bonnie was his rock. How can he go on without his rock? How can she miss the birth of his first child he's having with his wife Sarah? He's supposed to have a baby girl be born this winter. How can she miss it? She was supposed to be the godmother. His baby can't have a godmother who is already up above. How can his child go on never knowing her Aunt Bonnie, one of the most amazing women he had ever met.

How will any of them go on after this?

Caroline wiped her nose with the back of her hand and leaned away from Stefan. "I-" she hiccuped, "already am planning the-" now she stuttered as the toughest word for her to say was trying to come out, "funeral."

"You doing a eulogy?" Stefan asked her softly.

She tried to hold back the next sob that threatened to break free, "I—I guess," after an obvious hesitation, she shook her head breaking down again, "I can't, Stefan. Please, I can't. I can't talk about Bonnie in front of people. I can't talk about how amazing she was, because all I want to say is that she saved my life more times to count and I can't say that and I can't say I failed her and I can't say anything without breaking down."

Alaric's glass dropped from his hands onto the ground. No one said anything, they ignored it, or they hadn't even noticed.

She looked up at Stefan with half hopeful eyes and half with tears of misery, "Do-do you think Damon would?"

Stefan opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by an unexpected voice.

"Don't plan on me being there."

Everyone's attention snapped to the opening of the living room. There stood was Damon, in his signature black leather jacket, and his face showed no emotion.

Stefan stood up from his seat, walking towards Damon's direction.

"Where are you going?" He asked his older brother slowly.

"None of your business." Damon snapped. After noticing Stefan's frown, he said, "Why aren't you guys at the hospital?"

Stefan sighs, he leans his head forward and rubs at his eyes tiredly, "I'm washing some of mine and Caroline's clothes. Then we're heading back to the hospital tonight to see how Bonnie's doing."

" I'm just drinking your bourbon." Grumbled a drunk Alaric from the corner.

Damon smirked his way, "You do that, buddy."

He can hear Caroline's sniffling from the couch, "Damon, about the funeral-"

Damon huffed. "No. I'm not talking about the funeral and I'm sure as hell am not discussing Bonnie dying to you people or anyone else for that matter."

Caroline gasped. Her jaw dropped and so did Matt's.

Before either of them can speak, Stefan spoke up, "Damon, that isn't really fair-" he started to whisper but Damon interrupted, ignoring him altogether.

"I'm going away, Stefan."

Everyone was taken back by this sudden news.

"With...Elena?" Stefan asked sort of awkwardly considering the circumstances.

Damon scowled, "No." He stated as if the answer was obvious. "I won't be seeing Elena when she wakes up."

Now they were all confused. Stefan shook his head, "Where are you going?"

Damon answered immediately, "I'm not telling you or anyone else. I'm leaving Mystic Falls and going someplace far away. Just know that I'll be happy _wherever_ I'm at."

Stefan looked at him like he was crazy, "What about Elena?"

"This isn't about Elena. It'll _never_ be about Elena again."

The two brothers looked at each other. As if a mutual understanding was made between the two of them, and Stefan nodded his consent.

"Promise me you won't go looking for me?" Damon asked.

Stefan hesitated before promising his brother. They hugged briefly, Stefan thought it was bit strange that Damon held on a bit more tightly than usual, but didn't say anything.

Damon turned to the other three. "Blondie," he starts making his way towards her. He looks down and says, "Make sure that is the best damn funeral Mystic Falls- hell all of Virginia has ever fricking seen...and," he paused to pull something out of his back pocket. It was a white envelope with Elena's name written on it. "Make sure Elena gets this."

She nodded as tears fell down her cheeks quietly and genuine smiled tugged at the end of her lips.

He turned to Alaric and squeezed his shoulder. "You're free to all the bourbon left here." Damon smirks and Alaric just laughs slightly. " _I'm sorry_..." Damon whispers silently and Alaric frowns again, understanding taking over him.

He looks over at Matt, "Quarterback," he smirks and Matt rolls his eyes, "I may have overheard you and Sarah talking about the baby the other day..." Matt started to scowl but his face changes from one of annoyance to one of sadness and happiness all at once, "I think Bonnie would love it if you name the baby after her." Bonnie Victoria Donovan, was what Sarah and Matt had been thinking about.

With that, Damon left saying his final goodbyes. Now he had one last person to see.

* * *

Bonnie Bennett knew she was in love with Damon the moment he saved her life from Kai. The look of worry that flashed over his face when he saw her and the gentle caress of a kiss he laid on her forehead was a done deal for Bonnie. She was hooked.

She always knew she was infatuated with him, ever since they were in 1994 together that is. At first it was a total hate relationship, then over time they became friends, and after a while she developed a crush on him, and then he was gone.

That hurt her more than anything, figuratively and literally. She knew she was sending him off to be back with Elena, and he would soon have forgotten her. But that didn't happen.

He still wanted to be her friend when she saw him again. He still talked to her, teased her, he saved her.

When what happened to her and Elena happened...she knew she was never meant to be with Damon. She can't be with her best friend's boyfriend while she's in a coma! She can't be with him knowing he'll always love Elena, she wouldn't be the only girl for him, ever.

She couldn't put herself through that.

She looks down at her fingers, feelings the tips of them. She remembers how powerful she used to feel. Not weak, not like this. She used to be so much better than this.

Bonnie remembers how it felt when she first started to lose her magic. It was a horrifying thing to go through, having her magic slip away from her so slowly and there's nothing she can do about it. She's so weak that using magic is practically impossible now. It's basically not even with her anymore.

She remembers breaking down in Damon's arms when she noticed she couldn't light a candle with just her mind anymore. Damon held her tight, whispering to her, "It doesn't matter whether you have your magic or not. You'll always be my little witch."

She's never felt so human, so useless, so worthless before. And oh lord, did she truly hate it.

Bonnie looks down where there are currently no cars passing by. A heavy sigh escapes her and she lifts her head back up and closes her eyes. _Breathe in. Breathe out_.

There she stood, with her white hospital gown wrapped around her, her back straight as she balanced herself on the ledge of the hospital building roof.

She wants to jump. She wants to end it all right here, right now. She already knows it's happening, so why prolong it? She can't take watching Caroline have another one of her breakdowns, Stefan standing in the corner offering encouraging words that even she doesn't believe anymore because there's no hope. Matt and Sarah would walking in, hand in hand, and Bonnie would look at the pregnant woman and come to terms with knowing she'll never meet Matt and Sarah's child. She'll never meet her niece. She can't stand to look at Alaric walk into the hospital room drunk every time. She hated seeing what he was doing to himself and she didn't want to see that anymore.

She especially couldn't face Damon again.

Not after everything she told him. Not after knowing that that would be there last time seeing each other. For the last three months all she wanted was a proper goodbye with Damon, now she's dreading it. She never wants to have to mumble those words to him, ever. She said what she had to say and made her peace. She can finally be free.

She wonders if everyone gets at that point in their lives, where they just want to give up...Does everyone who comes face to face with death always feel like this?

She's died twice before. Both times she couldn't really explain them, but she didn't feel the death, per say. Being dead can be lonely, but she hopes this time she'll be able to find her peace. She'll finally be truly happy. _Please_ , she just wants to be happy. She wants the _ache_ in her chest to stop _hurting._

She leans forwards a little. She takes her right foot off the ledge and leans off of it. Right when she's about to jump, she's suddenly pulled back, two strong arms wrapped tightly around her waist and an erratic breath can heard from behind her ear.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? I told you not to die before I came back." A familiar voice that always makes her shiver is whispered into her ear.

She turns around, and with all her weakness pushes him away from her. "Stop, Damon." She says, her breathing uncontrollable now.

He wasn't back down. "How the hell did you even get up here?"

Bonnie shrugged but Damon glared. He wanted her to tell him how. She sighs in defeat. "I may have witnessed a nurse ,one day a couple months ago when I walking around the hospital, steal some drugs...and I may have threatened said nurse that if she doesn't wheel me out onto the roof I'll report her."

Damon shook his head in disbelief. "I don't even know how you're standing up right now."

"Trust me," Bonnie sighed, "It's taking up all of my energy." With those words said, she kneels down and takes a seat on the ledge where she once stood. Taking a deep breath.

"Why are you here, Damon?" She asks him softly.

He sighs, "I'm not here to fight with you, if that's what you're worried about."

She blinked. "Came for the farewell, then? How nice. And let me guess, everybody is downstairs right now waiting to say their goodbyes as well."

She doesn't want to say goodbye, she just wants to _leave!_

She didn't expect that when the time actually came that it would feel like this. She thought it'd be more simple. Saying goodbye to the people you love forever will never be simple.

"I'm actually not here to say goodbye."

Now Bonnie was frowning. "What?"

His face remained expressionless as he went on, "I talked to a witch. She tied me to you. You die, I die, Bon-Bon. We're in this together."

* * *

 **A/N- Okay, so I guess I lied, this will probably be like three, most likely four parts.**

 **Hope you all don't mind**

 **Sorry for the cliffhanger, I originally wasn't going to leave it there but I thought it would be mean if I did, so I did it (: I**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- I just want to thank you all for the reviews, follows, and faves. It means so much to me that you all are enjoying this story just as much as I am writing it.**

 **New season 7 reference in here, just saying(:**

 **And I hope this chapter isn't too confusing for any of you. Whenever there's a line break, it means it goes from present time to a week ago.**

 **Anyways, enjoy(:**

* * *

 **Part Three-**

 _ **Present Time**_

That Friday's weather was nice and sunny. It was early in the morning, the birds chirped cheerfully as they flew high in the sky, and the orchestra in the background played; _Pennies from Heaven_ by Frank Sinatra- one of Bonnie's favorite songs. Flowers surrounded the small stage, Caroline stood in the middle, behind a podium. She's wearing a short black dress, her long blonde hair curled into waves and her eyes never left the paper that laid infront of her.

The bright green grass surrounded them all, graves staring mockingly at them in the face. The white and gold casket laid behind her, and it took everything in Caroline not to turn around and stare at it.

Her hands clenched around the wooden podium. She looked up briefly and sighed noticing the crowd of people sitting in the expensive white seats. So many people had come, and she wasn't surprised. Bonnie was loved by many.

Teachs from elementary school all the way through college arrived, people from town that barely knew Bonnie came to give their condolences. Her neighbors sat in the back with sympathetic expressions on their faces. They only knew her as the new neighbor that had gotten sick so quickly. In the front sat Abbie who kept crying. Caroline scowled to herself slightly in thought of that. Abbie hadn't been there for Bonnie once, and now she shows up to the funeral playing the heartbroken mother role? How dare she. But Caroline doesn't start anything with her, she knows Bonnie wouldn't have wanted that.

Stefan sat in the same row, along with Matt, Sarah, Alaric, and _Elena._ Each of them crying with tears streaming down their faces. Jeremy, his fiance, and Tyler were sat in the row behind them. Alaric was frowning, Tyler was glaring at the grass beneath his feet, while Elena was fiddling with her fingers in her lap, looking torn.

Elena had expected Damon to be waiting for her with open arms when she wakes up, but she also expected to be gone for a lot longer of a time. When she did wake up, she didn't expect to find a broken down Caroline in the corner of the crypt along with a sorrowful looking Stefan with a white envelope held tightly in his hands.

They explained to her that Bonnie had gotten sick over six months ago, and that over time there was no getting better for her. They explained how she had past away just a couple hours before Elena woke up. When she realized Bonnie was only twenty-seven, with no lover or kids, she cried for the loss of her friend and the loss of life her friend had never gotten to have. She asked where Damon was, and that was when Stefan handed her the envelope, wordlessly.

He went over to Caroline, wrapped his arms around her shaking body, and the two of them walked outside, leaving Elena alone to read to herself.

When she opened up the letter, she couldn't quite believe any of the words that had been written.

 _Dear Elena,_

 _If you're reading this, that means Bonnie's dead, which means I'm gone and away from Mystic Falls.I'm sorry to do this to you, especially after you just spent the last seven years in a coma expecting me to wait for you, and yet I'm not standing there with you right now._

 _I loved you, Elena. More than anything and it became unhealthy for the both of us. When I came back from 1994, I should have never tried to get you to remember what we once had. Everything was too different, nothing ever felt the same. No matter how hard I tried to make myself feel the same, I couldn't. I had to lie to myself everyday because I felt guilty. I ruined your relationship with my brotherfor my own selfish reasons because I thought you were the one.I wanted you to be the one._

 _But you're not, Elena, and I'm not the one for you._

 _Find a man. A human man that will make you happy. Have the family you always wanted. Move on from me._

 _I don't know how it happened, or even when, but I fell inlove with Bonnie. I know you don't want to hear this or you're probably thinking this is some prank, but it isn't. I'm hopelessly in love with Bonnie Bennett, and I will be forever._

 _I won't go into detail because that isn't fair to you, but I thought you deserved to know my reasonings as to why I'm leaving and not staying to be with you.I can't live in a town knowing that's where Bonnie died.I can't live there because every little thing reminds me of her and I want to kill anyone in sight that even remotely looks like her, while their healthy and living and she won't be._

 _Don't bother looking for me, I don't want to be found._

 _I'll always love you, Elena, you changed me. But I'll never love you as more than a friend ever again. My love for you is like a distant memory, I can't feel it anymore, but I can remember was nice, but with Bonnie it's different.I guess it's always been kind of different._

 _I'm sorry, Elena, but I can't be with you when all I want is to be with Bonnie._

 _I hope you get everything you want out of life. Goodbye._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Damon_

She shook her head in disbelief and threw the letter onto the ground. She ran out of the crypt, looking around the graveyard, thinking Damon was hiding out there, waiting for her.

He wasn't. Damon's gone.

She fell to her knees, sobs escaping her. She hated Damon for leaving. She hated Bonnie for making Damon fall inlove with her. Yet, she knew she couldn't hate them. She's always known the two of them care for each other, that they had something special, she was just too dumb to see it.

She wanted to instantly leave Mystic Falls and go look for Damon. Make him fall in love with her again, but she knew better. If Damon had any feelings for her at all, he would have never left, but he did it. That's when she knew she had to move on.

She didn't win this time.

The clearing of Caroline's throat through the speakers caught Elena's attention and every had their eyes on her. They sat patiently, waiting for the blonde to speak.

"Bonnie Bennett was the strongest person I've ever met. She was always there for me, whethere to tell me if what I was doing was wrong, or if I was just being my normal crazy self."

* * *

 _ **One week ago.**_

Bonnie wasn't sure if she had heard Damon correctly. Her eyebrows creased in confusion and she stuttered, "Wh-what?"

Damon shrugged his shoulders, "I figured I lived a long time. I've seen the world go from horse ride carriages to airplanes and sorts cars. I don't think there's much for me here anymore-"

She scoffed, "Shut up, Damon. You know you have a lot to live for. What about your brother? And Elena-"

He grabbed her elbow angrily, "Stop making everything about Elena. If me dying along with you is what it takes to fucking show you how much I rather be with you than her, then I-"

Bonnie started to get angry, "So is that what this is? For you to prove a point? It's a very dumb point, Damon. You're crazy. I'm not even sure if I believe you. You could just be tricking me!"

Damon's eyes narrowed slightly, "Calm down. I can literally feel you right now and your heart racing that fast is making me nervous, so stop it." He spoke through gritted teeth.

She scoffed again. "What's the point?" She coughed and placed her hand on her chest as the pain tightened excrusciatingly, "I'm going to die anyways."

* * *

Caroline continued, "She was an amazing friend. She only wanted the best for others. She put everyone first before her every single time." A tear falls down her cheek and she closes her eye quickly trying to compose herself. "I never met anyone so selfless like her. I wouldn't be surprised if Bonnie earned herself a Goddess role up there instead of some angel wings." Caroline let out a small sad laugh and she heard people in the crowd do the same.

"I hope to be half as strong and brave as she ever was."

* * *

"I hate when you talk like that." Bit Damon.

Bonnie scowled, "Talk like what?"

"Like you're okay with just giving up. You're okay with leaving everybody behind."

Bonnie shook her head, "Maybe I'm tired of just always being needed, Damon."

Damon's eyes locked with hers, "Is that why none of them are here? You didn't have the doctor call any of them to tell them this was your last night because you don't want to look at anyone's faces when you say goodbye. You don't want to know how much they truly need you."

She noded her head once, but didn't say a word.

"Why are you being such a coward?"

Those words shocked her, but they also angered her at the same time.

"I'm not a coward, Damon! I just want to die in peace. Can't I do that? Why does my death have to be about other people?" He glared at her and opened his mouth to speak but she continued, "And why are you trying to talk me out of this? It's too late, Damon. If you really tied yourself to me then you should go find that witch and get her to untie you because I'm not changing my mind. So unless you really want to die-"

His jaw clenched as he shouted, "Can't you see, Bonnie!? You're my bestfriend. I'd lose my mind if I had to live without you!" His voice changed to a soft whisper as he calmed down, " _I choose you_."

* * *

"She was smart. Smart than all of us, really. I envied her for her intelligence...I often wondered how she would have been as a wife and mother. But I don't need to see it to know Bonnie would have been the best out there. Especially if she were ever with Damon..." She looked over to Elena who stiffened in her head was down and she interlocked her fingers together.

The crowd remained silent as she went on, "I don't want this eulogy to get too depressing than it already is, but I wanted to express how much Bonnie was loved dearly by Damon, even if he couldn't make it today. I noticed it in his eyes everytime he looked at her, and I just know, that this is truly killing him. Wherever he is, whether he'll know I said this or not, I pray Damon wil get through this with time, and I am also thankful for him, because he made my bestfriend the happiest I've ever seen her. I just hope he knows how much she loved him, too."

* * *

Damon went and sat beside her on the ledge.

Bonnie sighed, "Damon..."

"The thought of you dying kills me, Bonnie. I've been going crazy the past six months. You know, you're all I fucking think about. Even before you got sick. All I think about..."

"What about Elena?" She had to ask.

He sighs, "I wrote her a letter. Explaining that I was moving away from Mystic Falls, and that I couldn't bare staying in a town that you died in...It's also what I told Stefan and the others. I knew if I told them what I was doing they'd interfere, and I knew if they found out afterwards it would just be another person for them to grieve for."

She leaned her head against his shoulder tiredly. The both of them stared amonst the open space of the rooftop. Bonnie shivered as a cold chill ran through her. Damon took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Have I ever told you how hot you look in that hospital gown?" He winked causing her to blush with a roll of her eyes.

She took a large deep breath. "Did you really tie yourself to me?" She spoke in a whisper.

He nodded as he leaned his head on top of hers. "And I'd do it again in a heart-beat, Bon-Bon."

"You know what's funny?" She asked him.

"What?" He whispered.

"I would've done the same."

* * *

"When Bonnie, Elena, and I were teenagers, Bonnie was basically the mom of the three of us. She would tell us off when we were acting out, but she always covered for us when we would get in trouble. She always had our backs."

* * *

As the two of them sat on the ledge a little while later, in the cold night air, Damon had his arm wrapped around her as they both waited patiently for their time to come. Neither of them hoping it was anytime soon because they were too caught up in the moment.

"I wonder what it's like...being truly dead." Bonnie thought out loud. "Do you think it will hurt?" She asked him.

Damon shrugged, "I don't know. At least we'll find out together. Well, I'll probably end up in a different place as you though. But i'll be sure to try and sneak away from Satan and come visit you up there." He wiggled his eyebrows and Bonnie giggled into the crook of his neck.

After a few moments he asked her, "What did you want? If you weren't going through this, if we had a normal life, what would you want?" He asked her curiously.

She didn't hesitate. "I wanted a family. I wanted you and me to be together. I wanted a large house with a white picket fence and little kids running around in it all day long. I wanted you to be that Dad that came home and picked up his toddlers from the ground and pretended they were airplanes and made that weird noise with your mouth and run them around the room. I wanted the feeling of love and appreciation as I walk into the door and the kids run to me telling me they loved me and missed me. I-I wanted to be your wife...I imagined saying 'I do' to you so many times in my dreams, that my heart broke in half every single time I woke up and it wasn't real. I wanted Stefan and Caroline to be married with kids as wel...I just wanted everyone to be happy."

His hand squeezed her shoulder tightly. He noticed the silent tears streaming down the sides of her cheeks.

"Bonnie," he started but she shook her head.

"You don't have to say anything, Damon. It was just the fantasy I always had."

He pulled her closer to him, if that was even possible. "I'd give you the world, Bonnie Bennett. I'd marry you a million times and give you as many kids as you want if I could." He kissed the top of her head.

Bonnie can feel herself start to slowly get tired but she stayed. She fought hard for it. She just wanted a little more time with Damon.

Her eyes shut as she cries a little more. How she wishes he could give her all that and more.

"I love you, Damon."

Damon's eyes closed. He felt something wet on his cheeks. Bonnie looked up and saw his face, "Are you crying, Damon?" She asked him softly.

He scowled and scoffed, his eyes still closed, "Shut up, Bennett."

She smiled and leaned back against him. Enjoying the warmth and feel of being in his arms.

"I love you, too." He whispered in her ear.

That was it. She broke down. A sob came out of her as she thought to herself, _That was all I ever wanted..._

She clutched onto him like her life depended on it-ironically.

"Are you going to let me die without knowing the taste of your lips, Bonnie?"

Without any hesitation, Bonnie leaned up and smashed her lips against his. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as his mouth opened welcoming her in. The two of them feeling the electricity they never felt before with any other. His tongue met her's for the first time and he groaned to himself, loving the taste of her.

He suddenly regrest never chasing after her in a romantic way after first meeting her. He spent an entire decade knowing her and he could have been enjoying these kisses the entire time? Oh how he felt like an idiot.

She didn't think she can love him more than she did right now. He's her soulmate, he truly is.

After their intense first kiss they lean away frome each other, their foreheads still touching. Damon leans over and gives her three more pecks on the lips. "If only I knew you kissed liket that. We would've had a lot more fun in 1994." He joked and smiled when he got another giggle out of her.

Their fun doesn't last long though, because before Damon even realizes what is happening, Bonnie falls limp in his arms. She had wasted too much of her energy in the last few hours.

He reacts instinctivley, he bites into his wrist. He pushes his arm against her lips, knowing she's still alive, and watches the blood leave his arm and into her mouth. He doesn't care if she wakes up mad at him. He doesn't care about any of it anymore. He doesn't want to lose her, even if he will die with her, he wants the life Bonnie wanted. He wants that perfect family with a big house and white picket fence and he wants it all with her!

"Come on, Bonnie. Wake up!" He shouts as he shakes her but she doesn't budge. "Come on, baby. Wake up for me. Open those eyes. Let me kiss you again, just one more time, baby, _please_."

His heart constricts in his chest and for the first time he actually feels the tears in his eyes. He felt like he was dying emotionally and physically. He can't lose her, he can't! He needs her!

When her heart stops beating, he realizes it's too late.

* * *

"Bonnie Bennett was an extraordinary person. There will never be another person like her, and I am glad to have the pleasure of saying I knew Bonnie Bennett. She was more than my bestfriend, she was my sister. And she always will be." Caroline cried and Stefan had to walk up onto the stage and help her back down into her seat.

Far away from them all, where no one can see, two people stood together. A man with dark raven black hair and blue eyes and a short girl with green eyes filled with tears.

"I feel guilty, Damon. They're grieving thinking I'm dead, but I'm not..."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "It's for the best, Bonnie, remember? It's the only way I know the two of us will for sure stay safe. The only way our future family will stay safe." She sniffs and smiles at hearing him say the word _family_ again.

"But isn't this just us running away from our problems? They're going to eventually realize I'm alive, Damon. I'm a-"

He nodded his head. "I know, but we'll worry about it when the time comes. Come on, we're going to miss our flight to Italy."

Bonie found herself smiling. She took Damon's hand as he lead her through the graveyard. He looks behind himself and asks her, "You ready to see the world, soon to be Mrs. Salvatore?"

Bonnie scoffed playfully. Her worries of her family and friends behind them forgotten. "More like Bennett-Salvatore."

"We'll see." Came his only reply.

* * *

 **A/N- NEXT IS EPILOGUE!**

 **I'll explain all the technical details in the epilogue. I hope this sufficed to you all. (:**


End file.
